As the light fades through lavender to steel grey and the moon rise over the mountains – I wonder, as I sit here, holiday music playing in the background, listening to lyrics with words of love, hope, dreams, angels, peace …
Why on Christmas Eve, old heart breaks, grudges, resentment, sad memories and feelings surface.
So tonight, I’m choosing happiness and beauty, in spite of the misery and despair that overwhelms my family at this time of the year.
It’s Christmas Eve and we cannot wish for something that is already lost.
Why do we want to prolong what is already unbearable.
Why sit with long, somber faces.
It’s Christmas Eve and I’m choosing happiness and beauty.
Past wrongs are done.
Tonight I imagine my soul, drifting up into the starry sky, above the wind-swept street, like a kite. My head in the clouds, my heart in the sky. Gazing down on my lovely home—fairy lights twinkling in the window and from under white-painted eves—a woven wicker basket next to the fireplace, filled with red-and-white wrapped presents. Candle light flutter and dance, casting warm shadows on yellow wooden floors.
It’s Christmas Eve of my year 47;
Impressions of summer—long lazy days soaked in mellow moments—hover at the edges of my memory. A trailing kiss, glowing all along the back of my hand. Red-orange sunsets like fire and embers. Sea shells singing on deserted beaches, angel choirs on still nights, lights strung like pearls along distant shores. Wilting sails pining for wind. Shifting white streams of moonlight on indigo seas. Sun kissed skin drenched in color, glistens against the boundless ebb and flow of a crystalline sea.
The people who I love like candles in a window on a dark night – guiding me, encouraging me, holding my hand ….
A year of joy filled with words, images, dreams, thoughts.
Christmas Eve of my year 47, I will smilingly wrap in happiness and beauty.
A precious gift to myself; to treasure and hold dear for ever.
What will you hold dear this Christmas Eve?