Words Written on Sand
December 2012, a few days before New Years. The day steel grey, low clouds hang like a blanket over Barcelona. Suffocating the city, it’s cold, the smell of snow on the air. I felt a desperate need to get away from the boat.
The sea beckoned and I answer her call. That day, she too, in a melancholy mood. Slate grey, oily looking, a feeble sun struggle to break through the thick clouds.
I wander along the deserted beach, icy water soak my jeans, my bare feet frozen. Cheeks numb from the cold air, my hands thrust deep into my pockets.
Empty footprints follow me, some washed away in places by the sea, like I’ve never been there at all. I feel invisible, my life meaningless.
My soul yearn for the sun, my physical being yearn for purpose. I need to feel alive again, I need passion, joy, hope. Instead I felt lost. Adrift at sea.
Alone.Without Purpose.Without Direction.
Since my teenage years, I wrote words on sand, my musings usually a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Love letters to boyfriends, letters to the sea about my hopes and dreams. Today was no exception. I pick up a twisted and bleached sliver of driftwood, and using it as a pen I began to write on the sand.
I did not think
I just wrote
pouring out my heart
following a track
that slowly penetrate
what I conceal
And there on the sand, at the edge of the sea, between tiny pebbles, broken shells and ribbons of sea weed, I scribbled, while behind me the sea wash away my words, my fears, my heartache. At last I sat back on my haunches, my jeans wet, my feet and fingers freezing, yet I did not feel the cold. I no longer felt miserable. I felt light. My soul free to soar with the gulls in the sky.
Gazing at my words, of which only a few remained visible. A fleeting memory, imprinted upon the sand.
WORDS.DREAMS.LIVE.A BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
The sun broke through, casting a shiny bright stairway to heaven, on the water. The clouds scuttle away before the onslaught. The grey sea turn a deep, dark blue, a long-stemmed red rose float in the shallow water, a gift for me. Sent by King Neptune from far, far away, saying;
“I love you. I believe in you. Write your letters in the sand for me. But write on paper too.”
I knew then I must write. Not only words written on sand. But words on paper and in ink. Words that cannot be washed away by the sea.
I no longer want to waste my life.
I want to live.
I have a beautiful life.
I want to create.
I want to write.
I AM A WRITER.